Yo no soy capáz de sonreirle al paso de los años

Con ustedes mi más reciente intento por hacer poesía 

Te fuiste sin mi y no fue doloroso.
Arrancaste de raíz cualquier cicatríz que quedó seca en mi corazón
Me hiciste fuerte porque no había nada más que hacer
Rompiste todos los vidrios que ya estaban rotos hasta desaparecerlos.

Vestimos las ropas del miedo 

Cocinaste mi sangre para que el corazón no doliera tanto
Se acabó nuestro tiempo y en el jardín trasero plantamos cabezas humanas para poder conciliar el sueño.

No importa que tan disciplinado seas, i'm somehow always ahead of you 
Tu estas donde yo fui hace tiempo

 

En uno de mis viajes recuerdo que te extrañaba mucho y te escribí. 

Me gustaba durante el viaje pensar en los lugares que te gustarían y los que no; cerrar los ojos y lograr verte a mi lado, tan sonriente y efímero, como el tiempo. 

Yo no soy capáz de sonreirle al paso de los años.

Old letters

Last night i was reading old stuff i write years a go –well, two years ago–, i make a decision, i think this is the best one, enjoy.

I am a very obsessive woman, sometimes silly. 

I cry with movies, i like to walk on my own, and when i miss you i get neurotic, i clean the house and organize everything around me; my magazines, my video types, my books, the whole place. 

I have a lot of bags, of any kind, style, size or color. 

You reminded me of a bag i used to love but my mother never bought it to me, yo are just like that bag. I’m always looking for that bag even if i have a lot, i'm never satisfy, cause i need only that bag. 

But sometimes i’m afraid that the bag never existed and it’s all a product of my own imagination. Are you something i create?, are you real? I don’t know. 

Sometimes i just look the photographs we have together and i feel good again, cause they’re my only proof you exist, that you live near the beach, that you’re house it’s white with blue windows, an you have a dog, and your room, i love you’re room, it’s a quiet place, i like your house, it’s like home to me sometimes, even if you never really wanted me to be a part of it, i don’t know. 

I never really knew what you wanted for me. It’s just that i miss you, especially when it’s raining and i'm watching a Hitchcock’s movie. I’m lying, always, all the time when i wake up or i go to bed, anytime i miss you, i miss you.

It's a Job fainding a job

Today is my first day at my new job.
I'm as always... two hours earlier. I'm excited, a little bit nervous but so happy 'cause was harder as hell for me to get the job. It took me almost a year, i went everywhere, but my experience and language probably wasn't enough, but now, i have the job!

Is not like i am going to work for the new york times (not yet) but stills, is retail, is clothing, fashion, is quite okay for a penny less young woman like me.
Being unemployed made me an expert making resumes, filling up applications, and going to interviews. There's so many things we don't know as young people about this process, and is incredibly sad that high schools doesn't teach us how to get through this things that are "basics" in life.
They teach us how to do math, biology but they don't tell us how to make a resume?
If i had previous knowledge of all of this, i swear god i had find a job faster, in three months or so, not in a whole year...

Listen closer to what i said little padawans, if you are going to fill up an application, don't mess it up, fill it up with a pencil first, then with a pen, choose black or blue so is going to look elegant, with your applications also gave them a resume so you will look professional and they will take your applications seriously.

If you apply online don't be shy! Go an introduce yourself with the manager, it works! When you have an interview be sure you have your teeth washed, don't wear make up as if you where a pancake (if woman) and get the best outfit you have, dress like an adult not like a teenager, high school days are over.

Just be yourself, draw in that face a big honest smile and don't forget to be polite,
Hello, good morning (or evening), thank you and please, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
i hope this help you little readers.



Love, Sara.

Relativity of time

I have been really busy lately, i wish i had more time for my reading and writing, but the truth is school duties are eating me alive, the holiday season is right in front of me, and that means i have to work, and also means finals and means death, misery and tears of sorrow, pretty deep...
Why can't a day last at least 48 hours? that will be fair, but no no, time is going fast.
Time will show no forgiveness for all of us who wasted time without remorse. Sometimes i lost my sense of time and space, and seriously can't handle why, i feel like i do not belong in time,like if "my life and time" is waiting for me somewhere else.
Life is in other places. I hope life is waiting for me at a seat in New York City central park.

Sara Jáuregui 

You don't choose a book, a book chooses you

I am pretty sure of this, every time you are at a place to make a decision about a book, theres some mystic force that makes you choose the correct one for you, is something like a sixth sense we wish to have when we have to choose the perfect fiancé, but no lady's, this only happens with books. 
This morning i had a job interview in one of the long-standing clothing brand in america, and as the non-experience young woman i am i arrived 4 and a half hours earlier. i had to find myself something interesting to do.And there i was standing at the biggest library my eyes had ever admire, i walked in,three different floors full of books about every subject or topic my imagination could afford!Writers disneyland i whispered to myself.When you are a nomad student basically you have to improve new ways to make homework in anyplace but home, so i found a nice corner in the second floor and sat my ass down and start reading the terrify "Longinus: On the Sublime".
As a literature student i am sorry not sorry and proud for not liking this subject (literary criticism).

After the reading i explore the place find out the way the library work, the employees, coffee shops, souvenirs shops, and architecture details. The thing is i found this little store inside de library where they sale old and used books, classic ones, fiction, history, mystery, kids or any type of books and authors, also in different languages. 
i saw this cute little red book in Chinese, but i honestly have no idea of how to understand Chinese.... so i put the book back in its place. I was slow making a decision, what book i should take home?,
book prices where crazy! $1 and $2 bucks ALL BOOKS. 
It was a sin not buying at least one. I saw this book called "The Archivist" (By: Martha Cooley) and it capture my attention immediately, driven by a magnetic force i took the book, paid my Thomas Jefferson printed faced green pice of paper and walk away, happy but with my internal voice screaming at me "Hey Sara why did you take that book specifically? you could have chosen so many others!"Sorry tinny Sara, it was an act of faith.
The point is, its 1:30 in the morning and i already loved the book!And i'm at the page 63.My advice for you all coffee drinkers is take the chance not only to fall in love, give a chance for a book written by an author you have never listen of, it's fun and you are going to teach yourself to stop being so "snobby" about authors and literature.

At last i just have to highlight the incredible good service at the library, i applied for my library card and as soon as i finish the application they gave me my new library card, this was mazing and quite unbelievable. 
Is good to know San Diego has now a big and equipment library. 

Sara Jáuregui.